Potty Training or That Was Easy.

So yesterday Frank peepeed in the potty, and we almost made it there this morning when he was pooping. So obviously that's taken care of. It's a load...off my mind that he's trained. Gee, and people made it sound so hard.

Truthfully, I'd be fine waiting longer, but he's happy to go in there and sit on his potty and play with his toys when I go. It's helpful that Xmas songs are on the radio and we turn those on and he wiggles around a little. I'm not sure that toys and wiggling have much to do with pottying, but he seems to enjoy it.

He can tell me when he needs/wants a new diaper (Di di? Di di!) and he's interested in the bathroom, which the Pull Ups potty training video said was a sign. Oh speaking of, that video stinks. I was hoping it would be a video for Frank that would make potty training seem like he cool everybody's doing it kind of thing. Instead it's like "If your kid is ready, put her on he potty. Give her a sticker or a treat. The end." Oh really? I had no idea.

This morning he came to me and started looking like he was going to poo and so we rushed to the potty and he had done a little in the diaper so I thought surely there's more to this. I then sat there trying to encourage the whole poop in the potty idea. He then looked at me, made a fake "Urrrrg!" noise and then cracked up. Sigh.

I talked to Santa and he thinks that he might have the elves put together a potty training book for Frank.

But honestly...this is what exites me now? Poo and potties? And this is what seems like a good stoking stuffer? Books about poo and potties? Sigh. This too shall pass.

Jamaica: Wedding

So Saturday morning we played and went to the beach and took a nap and then it was time for the big event! As you will see walking in a straight line isn't an area at which Frank is advanced. He starts out ahead of Colleen...looking good.


Somehow he gets behind her...


And then gets distracted by the decorations and the way the wind felt blowing his curls.

He does make it....eventually.
Aren't they gorgeous!

He leaned her back for a big kiss with a dip.



Frank thought Donna's idea to decorate with balls was truly inspired.

The band at the wedding was the best wedding band I've ever seen. Here he's singing Stir It Up..or more accurately, Steer It Oop, and instructing Donna how to dance.




The wedding was beautiful and I'm pretty sure that noone cares to see more pics of us sitting on the airplane on the way home so this will close out the Jamaica blogs. If you do want to see them, they're on my Facebook. If you want to see some of the professional photos of Peter and Donna's wedding check out this link. http://www.imagexperience.com/

The Unexpected Anger

When I was in 4t or 5th grade we had Colonial Day. We went out to a one room school house and ate out of lunch pails and wrote with quills and pulled taffy and square danced. Imagine my joy when it was my turn to dance with Pud. Yup, that was his nickname. The cool kids nickname was Pud. I wish I could tell you why but he got it before I transferred to that school. And if you think I'm going to put his real name, you're crazy. The last thing I want is for someone to google him and come across what I thought was this humiliating experience.

When it was my turn to dance we joined hands and began to promenade. I was so happy to be there with him that I didn't even mind that he was making faces to his friends, grossed out faces to be dancing with dorky me. But my mom who chaperoned Colonial Day minded, she minded a lot. She swooped in and pulled Pud out of the dance space and yelled at him. I can still see the fire in her eyes as she growled "That is my daughter and you will treat her with respect!"

I was so embarrassed. Couldn't she just understand that I wanted to dance with him, whether or not he was happy about it? That if I could keep a smile about it while he made faces that maybe kids would think we were having fun and I was in on the joke and I'd be friends with him and his cool friends?

This moment came back into my mind this morning while I was washing the dishes. I never expected that at 19 months I would be hit by some unexpected feeling about Frank. People love to tell pregnant ladies that they will be blown away by the love for their child; that they could never imagine the love they'll feel. I was not blown away. I knew before I had Frank about the magnitude of that love. I completely understood it. My breath has never been taken away by the love. I saw that love coming from a mile away and was prepared when it showed up.

But what I wasn't prepared for early on was the worry. When I took Frank out of his carseat I would grip him almost a little too tightly for fear that he'd somehow turn into a soaped up eel that I would be too inept to catch when I dropped him to certain peril on the pavement. When I slept at night I'd awake and rip through the sheets looking for him, sure he'd been smothered, even though he was safe in his crib in his own room.

But I got used to worrying about him and the worry feels mostly manageable now. There are days that I worry more than others but absent from the worry is the shock that I can be so incredibly unsettled. Today though as I think on certain situations I am knocked down by the unexpected anger.

I was unprepared that a 19 month old could have his feelings hurt. And the cry for that is the most heartbreaking cry. I haven't cried when he's had his shots, because I know they're good for him. After the first few weeks I stopped crying when he'd cry because he was hungry or tired or had another need because I knew I could meet those needs. When he throws a tantrum I don't cry because I know that he is either expressing his frustration or looking for attention. But when his feelings are hurt...oh God. And I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain. I really have nowhere to turn with that response but to God.

I can't explain to him why people act the way they do or why the world is how it is. I can't explain thoughtlessness or unkindness. I can't explain why someone wouldn't want to gather him up and snuggle him and say "I've missed you," when they haven't seen him for a while. I can't explain why it doesn't change that the pettiness in daycare doesn't stop when you grow up. I can't explain why when all he wants is to give his love to someone that they'd reject it.

And this new cry sparks an anger in me that is almost uncontrollable. I can tolerate people wronging me. I can talk to friends or to Kermit when people have wronged them and say "Let them be like that. It's only them who they're hurting." But with my own child it's all I can do to remain a civilized human.

I really understand that moment now, where my mom told off Pud. I understand that the fire in her eyes was all the things she felt like saying and was holding back and trying to phrase in a way that was constructive.

I don't agree when people say "You'll understand when you're a parent..." about anything. Someone else could have this understanding without a child, but it has taken Frank to place an index in my life about this anger.

I'm not looking to hear that I must love those who hate me and forgive those who persecute me. I can get and do that fairly easily. But in the moment when someone hurts Frank's feelings....that emotion is overwhelming. Unexpected.

Jamaica: Friday

Some of you know that there was a question as to whether we'd go on the excursion to Dunn River Falls on Friday. We didn't and it was definitely the right choice. I understand that the marketplace where they spent much of their time was thick with the smell of pot (which gives me a headache and makes me want to barf, let alone how great is it to take a toddler into that?) The bus ride was over 3 hours and they only spent about a half our at the falls and the make a human chain to climb the slippery path up wouldn't have worked for us either. So what did we do instead?

We went to the playground...

We had lunch with Donna's mom, Mary....I had the worlds best Mahi Mahi sandwich ever.




We went shopping and and had coffee at Cafe Blue. I gt a slice of chocolate cake and we both had mochacinos that were to die for.




We spent a long time on lazy river.



We took a nap.




And then when everyone came back we had dinner with them. Uncle Albert and Cousin Max are a hoot!






All this equaled one happy mommy and daddy!

Jamaica: Thursday

I'm fairly certain that Delta scans their system to find which plane we're on and then delays it, because all of my experience with Delta this year has included delays and rushing like crazy people to make a connection. But we got on and got Frank set up with Marli Matlin and the Baby Sign dvd. And then came the snack cart and Frank got one of his favorite treats! Chips. Oooooh.

They were Pringles, my fave. Kermit was excited to play duckie. You will notice he shaved once we got to the resort.


After some initial protesting, I got into it too.


We got there and rushed off to the rehearsal. Frank and Max played and played and rehearsed for 45 second and the played some more.

Kermit did a lot of Frank retrieval because he was determined to get into the tall grass on the other side of the ruins.

That night I forgot the camera in the room but we went off to the rehearsal dinner. I had fish, but I can't remember what kind. Wild rice and steamed veggies. Kermit chose the fish too! he's not fish guy but he tried so many new food this weekend. I was impressed. We didn't know they had a kid's menu, so Frank ate the adult chicken meal which he ate almost as much as the adults. He ate veggies, all the spaetzel and about half of his chicken. He's got a refined palette that boy.

The Real Baby Einstein

The problem with winter is that all the humidity disappears and Franks curls go from luscious locks of wonderment to frizzed out fro-ness. I sometimes giggle to myself that I have the real Baby Einstein....I mean really, you be the judge...



That was taken after this mornings detangle and brushing session. I had a friend suggest using a pick but haven't gotten one yet. For months I worried if I didn't scrunch his hair after his bath that his curls would disappear. I guess I thought I was creating the curls after each tubby time. One night I thought I'd see what happened if I didn't labor over the curls. The results...exactly the same as when I did. The kid has curls.

People tell us over and over "My son/daughter had curls just like that. Then we got his/her haircut and it went straight." First of all, I don't get that. Curls are curly b/c the strand of hair is oval not circular. How can a haircut change the shape of the strand? And secondly, all this does is make me determined to be the mother of the next Samson. I will not cut his hair! His cute power comes from his curls.

He has great curl days and crazy hair days, but still with a little curl, even if 3/4 of it is frizzy and sticking straight out from his head, people ooh and ahh over him everywhere we go. His curls are a thing of beauty.

I have contemplated trimming them so they might have a better shape during the winter, but don't have the heart to do it yet. And that's a great thing b/c the 2 or 3 times I've asked Kermit what he thought would happen if you cut Frank's hair, Kermit's said "Oh please. Please don't cut Frank's hair. Those are his baby curls and if people say he needs a haircut, they're just jealous."

But it is annoying to hear "She is so gorgeous!" I tend to say "Thank you. Frank say thank you." and hope they catch that Frank is a boy's name. Usually they do. But I can have him in blue from head to toe with footballs and cars on his outfit and people still say "she." And then they say "Those curls are too cute for a boy." As if a boy can't have cute curls and still be...well not manly...but boyish. Sometimes they say "Oh but he's got those big blue eyes!" Yeah, that's not what separates boys from girls.

I have long thought that people who give their babies mohawks are strange and that boy babies should have generic little boy haircuts, but recently I've been wondering at what point do I fall into the "weird" category b/c I'm letting my son's hair grow?

I guess in the end it doesn't matter. People are always jealous of curls and we cherish them...so boo on those who have something against the curls. Frank will just be in good company whether it's curly...like say Alexander the Great's hair or frizzy like Einstein's. Curly hair...it's a great thing.

A Super Scary Halloween...

Frank got out for Beggar's Night since Court House doesn't do trick or treat on Halloween (for who only knows what reason) but it was great timing because last night was the beginning of our real scare.

A little note on trick or treating. I have thought for a year that Frank's costume was a monkey but as soon as we got him out on the streets people started calling him a lion. I think the issue is that his costume was not a Curious George style monkey, but more like this kind.


Truly our Halloween was stretched out for over a whole week. We had some nice warm weather so we went to the park one day. He worked up the courage to climb the play structure himself and attempt the slide. All was going well....for a while. Then this happened...


After this he tried to go back and do it again, but after getting to the slide and peering down, he chickened out and climbed back down clinging to the sides the whole time.
















He also was terrified of being touched by pumpkin guts and ran and hid behind the trunk in our living room while I did all the gutting work.


But the scariest part of Halloween started Friday when I picked Frank up from daycare. He had a few red dots on his back. I thought I'd keep an eye on them and Saturday morning there were a few more of them, but still small. I put him down for his nap and when I got him out of his crib at 5:45 I looked and they'd exploded into larger raised red marks and some were flat and very large. I'd never seen anything like this. There were many more of them. There were also red marks that were a little swollen and warm on his elbows and feet. This is a picture of the marks at that time.

I went out to Walmart and picked up some Benedryl and gave him some along with his antibiotic that he'd been taking for an ear infection. I didn't give him the decongestant because I thought maybe he was having an allergic reaction to that. I woke up through the night and went in to check on him. He was sleeping well, breathing fine. I prayed that they'd be gone in the morning and was sure that I'd get up and see fresh pure baby skin.

I got up not to fresh baby skin, but instead probably 4 time as many marks and now his knees were red and swollen. Some of the older bumps were spreading out and had whiter centers, like ringworm without the raised edges. They'd spread from just his back and sides to all over his body including his face and neck. is ears were violently red. I showed Kermit and he said we should take him to the ER.

We went in and because everyone else in the world was enjoying their extra hour of sleep the waiting room was empty. In the mile from the house to the ER a red area formed around Frank's left eye so he looked like a losing boxer or a sad puppy dog.

It took a little bit to get a dr in to see Frank and the 482,995 year old man in the other bed in the room was irritated by having to listen to "Where's the red circle? Where's the man in the yellow hat? Where's the cat?" and told his visitor so when she arrived. The dr walked in, said "Is he taking medicine?" We showed him the bottle and he said "He's allergic to penicillin. This is a penicillin derivative. Here's a prescription for a steroid and benedryl." And with that...we were free to go. Those red marks, I found out, are hives. I've never seen them.

All day I've had the what-ifs spinning in my head. What if I hadn't given him the benedryl last night? If the reaction was that severe when the benedryl was in his system what did I come close to seeing happen to Frank? Kermit and my dad are allergic to penicillin but I didn't even know that what I'd given Frank had that in it. Kermit's throat swelled almost shut last time he took a penicillin derivative and when he handled bottles of it at his old job he got hives. What if Kermit had gotten that medicine on him? This was so scary because this was the first time I really didn't have any idea what was going on with him. When he burnt his arm last month on the humidifier, that was scary but I knew what to do, how to treat that because I knew the problem, but I felt so helpless and that is terrifying.

The steroids and benedryl seem to be working. The red patches are pink now and his knees aren't swollen. His ears are splotchy red instead of all red. He's gotten a few new hives, but only a few not the huge increase that happened overnight. He's acting more easily upset since the steroids, but I feel blessed that the hives are fading and will be praying for Frank to recover.

I am ready to be done with the scary season and ready to move into the thankful one. I'm thankful he's ok. I'm thankful Kermit didn't get the stuff on him. I'm thankful the waiting room was empty so we weren't exposed to everyone's germs. I'm thankful that he's napping so I can unwind after this crazy morning.